game night, how can I help my child discussion, working together to help others learn

I went to a game night of some friends and family.  After the game, the women were visiting.  The conservation turned to how to help some of their children learn.  I did not start this conservation.  How long are we going to play the blame the child, parent or teacher game?  I think many more children, parent and teachers want the children to learn than are given credit.  Instead of blaming we need to learn to work together.